Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Update: We Are Still Losing the Battle Against the Creepy Smile

As much as I hate to report it, the creepy smile has not only survived our initial attack but gained momentum.

Just recently, a new season of my favorite show, "Through the Wormhole," started.  On the first episode, and several after that, I saw the dreaded "creepy smile."

If you missed my initial post about it, it refers to when somebody is smiling (usually a big smile) while they talk about nothing that could even be remotely linked to humor, funny, or even be seen as sneaky/cute/flirtation.  You dig?  See, when I smile while talking--when any normal human smiles while talking--it's because you are either about to deliver a punch-line, you are telling a funny story, or you're remembering a pleasant time and talking about that.  Also, you may smile while talking when the words aren't funny, but you're essentially flirting with somebody.

But not these people.  No, sirs and ma'ams.  These creepy fokkers are driving me insane.  Here's the real reason: it's not that they are usually physicists or science types, or very smart types you may see as a guest on a news program--the problem is what it means.  I have used every neuron I could fire up and my experience with psychology and sociology to determine that there are TWO primary reasons why they are doing this:

1.  They would like to show you that they are so smart that they can smile while telling you difficult formulas or news that only the elite might be privy to--difficult formulas or news that most people would make strained faces while delivering.  They smile in the same way a drunk dude would smile while trying to show he felt no pain as a cigarette was mashed into his arm (except there are no signs of faking it).  It is a huge sign of over-confidence.

2.  They have become "salesmen," of sorts, or in some way followed that old Socratic methodology of getting people to duplicate their behavior.  Why?  Well, the old Socratic method really focused on saying things that people would HAVE to agree with because they were commonly known facts or solid reasoning, and after getting them into a "yes mood," hitting them with the questionable material, such as why they should buy something.  In this case, the smile is to try to make YOU smile, and that tells them two things: first, you aren't real smart because you are smiling over nothing.  Two, it's hard to dislike somebody OR what somebody is saying as you smile at them.

My dear and great friends, all I'm asking you to do is insist, whenever you see the creepy smile, that the smiler then stop if he/she is talking and explain why they are smiling.  I can imagine some of the answers, like, "Well, I don't know, actually," or "Oh, I just love talking about this," or "Well, I was thinking about having sex with you, whenever possible."  The truth is that their motives rest with items numbered 1 or 2 above this paragraph.

What's more dreadful?  They learned this not by reading about it.  Not be being told.  They learned about it by seeing it on TV or elsewhere.  Silently, almost subconsciously, they adopted it.  In their minds, there was probably only this thought at the time; "I see.  People that smile while talking look really confident, and I want to look like that."  It's the dumbest gd bullshit I have ever seen and I plan to stand up forever against the creepy smile.

The creepy smile, my friends, is a direct attack on the special nature of a genuine smile!  We can't let them cheapen the human smile!  When they do, make them state why they are smiling, tell them why you think they are smiling, and then they'll stop!!  We don't want people to stop smiling; we want them to not use one of the greatest physical human behaviors ever for other-than-noble reasons

No comments:

Post a Comment