Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Let's Give Reality a Little Bath, Eh?

Nobody is coming to take your guns.  The moon landing was real.  9-11 wasn't an inside job, nor was Sandy Hook.

I studied psychology, but I'm not a PhD., so I have no professional reputation to protect, meaning I can be real, which means I'm here to set some of the paranoid or otherwise incorrect folks straight because this is getting a tad bothersome.  Let's cut the shit, huh?

Nobody at work is planning your demise; people are consumed with their own lives.  If you refuse to learn enough about your constitution to know how well it protects you from your government, fuck you.  I and others are tired of explaining it.  Small people dislike other people for the simple infraction of not thinking exactly like the small person thinks.  How much were you worried about Y2K and Dec. 21st, 2012?  Was it worth it?  

The government isn't building FEMA camps to lock you up so they can take over.  The Anunaki are not returning (but aliens are real, and it's time to get real about it--whether they've visited here is still up for debate, but some awful respectable eye witnesses have seen much...).  We will be permanently established on the moon and Mars before 2050.  We'll be on other moons by 2100, and on our way out of the solar system by 2150.  That's a good thing, because giant asteroids are real.

There is not a small group of secret society people running the world.  The world is run by demand, trust, religion, and raw military strength.  No white person alive ever owned a slave in America, and no black person alive ever served as one.  While America is and always will be a great center of possibilities, the dollar has taken her over.  With religion dwindling here and the power of money growing, it's time for people to make sure they have a personal constitution of goodness within them and that they are teaching it to their kids; a constitution that is loss-of-faith-proof and corruption-proof.

There is no grand evil going on in Washington.  Our government is an assembly of people we grew up beside, not machines.  They are your neighbors.  While they are highly susceptible to influence, there are still plenty strong enough not to sell out your clean air for a pair of tickets to a basketball game.  Think about this; every 2-4 years of your life, the American government has changed.  Has your view of them changed every 2-4 years?

Before you post anything online, would you please have the common courtesy to Google it and make sure it doesn't pop up on one of the scam sites?  Spreading false fear is worse than generating real fear, and I hope a day comes when people are accountable for it legally.  Neither the Chupacabra, nor Bigfoot, are real.  The jury is still out on sea monsters.  I before E except after C?  Bullshit.

Your company can't make money by paying everybody a million zillion bucks a year.  If you feel like you are getting screwed, go start your own company and hire some people and pay them what you wanted; tell us how that works out.  Dr. Phil is a prick.  Dr. Drew isn't.  999 out of every 1,000 things you are scared will happen won't.  And stop fucking with skaters/cyclists/scooter and motorcycle riders/pedestrians.  Somebody is gonna pull out a gun and cap your ass.  Keep playin.'

Learn to park in a single parking space.  Learn to stay to the right if people are trying to go faster than you.  If somebody stays in the left lane on an empty road, zip around to the right, pass them, cut them off and ride the brakes for a while.  The message will get through.  You can always try high beams first.  If you are a tailgater, I hope you choke on cut bait.  If somebody is tailgating you, go slower, and slower, and sloooowwwwweeerrrrrr until they give you a car length or two.  People will learn.  

You are no more or less important or meaningful than anybody else.  Anybody.

Hanging around negative people and harboring negative thoughts will guarantee that you do not attain happiness.  Either let them go, or let happiness go; it's a simple choice.

If you play your music so loud in your car that I have to cover my ears, you are probably a tiny-pricked teen male, insecure in every way, and I hope you shit your bed every night for the rest of your life.  The world you are on?  That's a shared deal.  Somebody's gonna snap on you one day, and your life will never be the same.  Turn the shit down or get some headphones if your mark of success is the implosion of your own eardrums.

Your religion is not one bit more legitimate than any other religion out there that can't be proven as fact.  Don't try to sell me anything you can't show me.  Seriously.  I will embarrass you.

Women can do anything men can.

Global warming is increasing because of mankind's behavior.  Do us a favor; if you're going to believe in any conspiracy, please, please, please don't let it be global warming.  If it turns out to be a giant hoax, I'll let you ridicule me and throw fruits at me in a public square for the rest of my life, but at the very least, entertain it as a possibility, and live as such.  There are 1,000 easier ways industry could have created spoof needs.  They could have run with West Nile virus protection or the skin cancer rates that are shooting through the roof.  They could be opening entire malls dedicated to personal self-defense or water treatment.  This is real.  It is measurable.  Carbon emissions have never been as high as they are today--nowhere even close!  

You'll never be perfect.  You'll never be happy if you keep comparing your life to the illusions people are showing you about their lives.  Assume you'll never win the lottery, and if you're blowing the grocery money on it, you deserve whatever happens.  Take a damned statistics class.

Just because you see somebody standing, walking, or smiling, doesn't mean they're ok.  There are a million very real problems or conditions they could be suffering with.  If you get nothing else from this blog post, please take away this fact--you do not know what any other human being is going through at any time, regardless of what his or her face may say.

Class dismissed.  Read chapter four of "I Actually Fucking Started Thinking."  There will be a quiz.